You don’t always notice how past trauma is affecting you until it spills into your relationships, your health, your confidence, or your ability to just get through the day. Maybe you brush it off. Maybe you’ve told yourself, “That happened a long time ago. I should be over it.”
But in reality, trauma doesn’t obey your artificially-imposed timeline. And it certainly doesn’t resolve itself just because time passes.
If you’ve found yourself feeling stuck, it might be time to create an actual plan for healing. While there’s no one-size-fits-all path, there are plenty of steps you can take that will support your recovery and help you feel more like yourself again.
Start With Safety
Before anything else, you need to feel safe. Not just physically, but emotionally and psychologically. Trauma leaves your nervous system on high alert. You might feel jumpy, disconnected, or exhausted all the time. While this is your body’s natural way of trying to protect you, it does keep you from feeling grounded.
Creating safety might look like setting boundaries with toxic people or limiting your exposure to stressful environments. (You might even want to rethink your daily routine.) We highly recommend surrounding yourself with people who respect your experiences, even if they don’t fully understand them.
If you don’t have those people yet, that’s okay. Therapy groups, online communities, or just one compassionate friend can be a good place to begin.
Find the Right Therapeutic Approach
Trauma isn’t just stored in your thoughts – it gets locked into your body, your reactions, and your nervous system. So simply talking about what happened doesn’t always move the needle.
That’s where trauma-informed therapy comes in. Therapists who specialize in trauma use tools that go beyond conversation. One of those tools is EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy, which helps your brain reprocess traumatic memories so they no longer carry the same emotional charge.
As psychotherapist Andrew Kushnick says, “I’m not here to make any magical claims. But because EMDR therapy is believed to unfreeze your brain’s ability to process memories effectively, some clients see change come more quickly than just talking about it. My EMDR therapy clients and I continue to be amazed by this, again and again, as we see it work.”
Other approaches like somatic therapy, internal family systems (IFS), and trauma-focused CBT can also be powerful. The key is finding a practitioner you trust and a method that fits your experience.
Practice Grounding Every Day
When trauma lives in your nervous system, it can hijack your day – often without warning. That’s why grounding techniques are so important. These are tools that bring your attention back to the present moment and remind your body that you’re safe.
Grounding doesn’t have to be complicated. Some days, it’s as simple as running your hands under cold water, noticing five things around you, taking a few deep belly breaths, etc. Movement, like stretching or walking barefoot in the grass, can also help.
Over time, these techniques create a nice, sturdy bridge between overwhelm and calm. They won’t eliminate triggers, but they give you a way to respond instead of react.
Be Patient With the Process
As much as we may want it to be, healing isn’t linear. Some days, you’ll feel light and hopeful. Other days, it might feel like you’re right back at the beginning. That’s normal – and it doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.
Give yourself permission to move at your own pace. You’re not on anyone else’s timeline. The goal isn’t to erase the past, but to loosen its grip on the present. That takes time and a lot of self-compassion.
It also helps to track small wins. Maybe you reacted differently in a tough conversation. Maybe you slept better. Maybe you showed up for therapy, even when you didn’t want to. All of those moments matter.
Use Self-Compassion, Not Self-Blame
You’re not broken. What happened to you was not your fault. And the ways you’ve coped – even if they’re not serving you now – were survival strategies. Understanding that can shift the way you talk to yourself.
Start noticing the language you use internally.
- Are you harsh?
- Dismissive?
- Would you say those things to someone you care about?
When you catch yourself spiraling into self-criticism, pause and ask: “What do I need right now?” You might be surprised how quickly things shift when you treat yourself with care instead of shame.
Set Boundaries Around Triggers
As you start healing, you’ll become more aware of the things that knock you off balance. That’s valuable information. Instead of judging yourself for being “too sensitive,” view your triggers as cues that something in your environment needs adjusting.
Sometimes, that means limiting contact with certain people. Other times, it’s muting conversations, skipping events, or saying no to responsibilities that overwhelm you.
Don’t Do This Alone
Trauma thrives in isolation. But healing happens in connection. You don’t have to share your story with everyone, but you do need at least one person who sees you, hears you, and believes in your ability to heal.
That might be a therapist, a partner, a close friend, or even a support group of people who’ve walked a similar path. Whoever it is, let them in. Let them remind you that you’re not crazy, not weak, and not alone!
Founder Dinis Guarda
IntelligentHQ Your New Business Network.
IntelligentHQ is a Business network and an expert source for finance, capital markets and intelligence for thousands of global business professionals, startups, and companies.
We exist at the point of intersection between technology, social media, finance and innovation.
IntelligentHQ leverages innovation and scale of social digital technology, analytics, news, and distribution to create an unparalleled, full digital medium and social business networks spectrum.
IntelligentHQ is working hard, to become a trusted, and indispensable source of business news and analytics, within financial services and its associated supply chains and ecosystems
